


Is That Thing Pink?

by Entwinedlove



Series: The Great October Challenge 2017 [54]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Character Turned Into Vampire, Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-19
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2019-08-07 06:23:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16402982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Entwinedlove/pseuds/Entwinedlove
Summary: Harry and Ron have to do a little dirty work as Aurors sometimes.





	Is That Thing Pink?

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Ordinary Writing Levels's 31 Days of Halloween  
> day 19 prompt: coffin
> 
> [ ](https://i.imgur.com/9t21WjK.jpg)

"Ah man, I don't remember signing up to do this sort of thing," Ron grumbled as both he and Harry slipped through the ajar mausoleum door. He expected dust to stir up as they crept in or to be overwhelmed with the smell of rotting flesh, but aside from the smell of freshly dug earth from further out of the cemetery, he couldn't smell anything out of the ordinary. "Are you sure this is the right place?"

"Yep," Harry answered in a quiet whisper, "Dirt on the floor is disturbed, no dust, busted lock on the door... this is it. You remember the spells?"

"I'm a highly trained Auror, same as you. What do you think?"

"That I trust you at my back," Harry said, reassuring Ron of his necessity.

"So you have intel on who this rogue vamp might be?"

Harry stopped and gestured with his chin to the altar at the end of the room. "I bet you even know with that sort of display."

In the centre of the space on the altar was an ostentatious bright pink coffin, so bright that Ron could see the colour in the dim light from the newly risen moon. "Merlin's saggy y-fronts, really?"

"Yep." Harry stayed close to the wall and kept his wand aimed at the coffin in case the occupant was ready to venture out for mealtime. "Ready?" He didn't have time to wait for Ron's answer as the coffin lid opened. Ron almost expected its hinge to creak but this was a new coffin, it wasn't going to creak.

Dolores Umbridge sat up and fluffed her hair before bracing her hands on the side of the coffin to raise herself up.

"No need to get up," Harry said, standing and casting the protection spell.

"What are you—Now see here, I'm a Ministry offi—"

"What you are, Dolores, is done. You're under arrest for breaking and entering St Mungo's hospital and assault on five—"

" Hem, hem! "

"If you resist we're authorised to use deadly force, Umbridge," Harry added as he watched her start to splutter.

"I am a Ministry official, how dare—"

"Is this resisting, mate?" Ron asked, wand aimed at Umbridge's chest. He wrinkled his nose as he noted details about her appearance. She still seemed to prefer pink but now it was combined with a bit of reddish brown stains down her chest. It wasn't a good look.

"I am a Ministry official and I will have you thrown in Azkaban for assaulting me!" she started again.

Harry sighed and shared a look with Ron. Ron stunned her. Harry raised his eyebrows at him. "Didn't want to be the one to do it?" he asked.

"Nah, just think she should have to answer for her crimes."

"You know they'll just push for capital punishment. I mean, she infected five people. One of which was Lockhart. If Neville hadn't been on the Janus Thickery Ward visiting his parents, who knows how many people she would have infected or killed."

"Yeah, well, still. Didn't feel right." Ron looked back at Umbridge, who had fallen mostly back into her ridiculous pink coffin. "We have to bring the entire thing, don't we?" He asked with a sigh. Sometimes he really didn't like being an Auror.


End file.
